When we talk about a person's confidence, it's important to understand: true confidence is directly tied to the ability to genuinely know and perceive oneself. It cannot be measured by the amount of money, the length of relationships, the number of friends, or the number of videos made. No social metric can reflect the true essence of confidence.
Self-awareness is an endless process. The deeper a person understands themselves, the more accurately they perceive the surrounding space and causal connections, the stronger the inner set of qualities and states that form the foundation of confidence.
This is not a descriptive characteristic that can be reduced to a single word. Confidence is not about being a good gardener, a successful businessman, or about tomorrow being a lucky day. The question is — what is this confidence in? Whose confidence are we talking about? What exactly are you measuring?
True confidence does not come from external achievements, but from deep inner self-understanding.
People often confuse two concepts — confidence and success. For example, someone might refer to a famous figure like Marilyn Monroe and say, "She was successful but not confident." And that’s perfectly normal, because success and confidence are two completely unrelated parameters.
Many businesspeople, politicians, artists, doctors, and parents are considered successful by external standards, but lack internal confidence. Success is measured by indicators: income, clients, marriage, children, planted trees, healed patients.
Every profession or social role has its own metrics of success, its own external evaluations. But all of this has nothing to do with inner state. Confidence is not measured by money, relationship duration, or number of projects. Confidence is an inner core, entirely unrelated to external success as a category.
Success and confidence are two different dimensions. It’s important not to confuse one for the other.
A person might say, "Because I’m a successful father, I’m confident as a dad." But that’s not actually true. That logic is flawed.
There’s one well-known and understandable fact: the more children a person has, the more they begin to realize how individual each child is. And a reasonable person will come to understand that there are no universal parenting formulas. Each new child is a completely different person and requires a unique approach.
That’s why with increased parenting experience, an attentive person doesn’t grow more confident, but rather becomes more aware of how much they don’t know.
👤 I have four children, and I know for sure: with each child comes a deeper realization that you know less and less. Yes, on one hand, you gain experience and understanding of many things, and from the outside, I could probably be called a "successful dad." But the root of confidence lies elsewhere. I know many people with many children who are incredibly unconfident as parents. They constantly worry, don’t know how to build relationships with their children, fear family breakdown, feel like bad husbands, or doubt their wives. These people are not confident — neither in their roles as fathers nor in their family life. The root of confidence is not in the number of children, nor in visible success — it lies elsewhere.
Some people believe they are confident because they’ve achieved external success. But ask yourself: what is that confidence based on? Is it true confidence — or just an expression of ego?
The question you must honestly ask yourself is: is the confidence you feel real, or is it just ego?
True confidence is inner peace. It’s a state in which your perception of the world expands, and you’re not afraid of losing anything. Such confidence is not about acquisition. It doesn’t depend on success, achievements, company, money, or external evaluation. It’s something deeper.
If you feel confident only because you have success — but are afraid to lose it — that’s not confidence, it’s ego. If you run a company, but the thought of it going bankrupt causes panic and robs you of your confidence, then that’s also not confidence. That’s ego clinging to external supports.
True confidence manifests when you’re ready to part with any external supports — even with confidence itself — and still remain in balance.
Confidence is not a social characteristic and not the result of external achievements. It’s not something that can be measured by money, status, experience, or others' evaluations. True confidence is an inner state that does not depend on external structures.
When a person is truly confident, they know: even if a loss occurs, they won’t fall into destructive states. And if those states do appear, they’ll be able to observe them — calmly, with acceptance, or at least with the intention to observe and acknowledge what’s happening. The willingness to face any inner state without running away or denying it — this is the foundation of confidence.
Confidence forms precisely in this — in the ability to be, observe, acknowledge. Not in success, not in stability, not in the opinions of others. It’s not a set of parameters, not a result, but a living quality that manifests in the readiness to face life as it is.
Confidence shows up in various areas of life. There is confidence in health, in relationships, in family, in a spouse, in parents, in friends, in the political system, in the economy, in the weather — the list goes on.
The question is: can a person be confident in one area and not in another? For example, is it possible to be confident at work but feel insecure in a relationship with one’s wife? The answer is yes, it is possible.
Thus, confidence is not a universal state that encompasses all of life at once. It can appear selectively, depending on specific circumstances and relationships. This is an important point that helps deepen our understanding of the nature and diversity of confidence.
The first important realization that everyone must come to: there is no such thing as "100% confidence." Just as there is no such thing as "0% confidence." There is never a situation in which a person is entirely unconfident at work — at 0%. And no one is 100% confident in their work either. Confidence is always present inside to some degree, because confidence is not an abstract parameter, but a sense of oneself as a person. This realization can save your life and change the way you view yourself and your potential.
Confidence in oneself as a person consists of many factors, including confidence at work and in other areas of life. At first glance, this may seem like unnecessary theory, but it reflects an important psychological truth.
Problems arise when people focus on the idea that confidence has a finite limit or can even be zero. In such cases, a person might say they are "completely unconfident," trying to explain it as their nature — as if they were born under a certain zodiac sign that supposedly defines their character and abilities. This leads to shallow, oversimplified classifications of people into 12 types, which are abstractions and do not reflect the real complexity of human personality.
Therefore, confidence cannot be reduced to limited categories or seen as a fixed state. It’s a dynamic and multifaceted process that requires deep understanding and inner work.
When someone says they’re not confident in something, it’s important to understand what exactly they’re referring to. For example, insecurity in the role of a professional or businessman is a socially constructed concept. A child who has never heard of business cannot feel insecure about it.
True confidence is not measured by parameters and manifests through life awareness. Social confidence can be evaluated to an extent, but it is conditional and depends on circumstances. Real confidence defies formal definitions.
👤 Insecurity is not just a feeling — it’s an energy. I know a child who was told from a young age that he must be constantly praised, because he will live with insecurity all his life. This energy of insecurity doesn’t come from the child’s own awareness, but from energetic realms; it is broadcast as part of his spiritual essence. That’s why the parents' job is to constantly support and praise this child, to neutralize that energy. You cannot overpraise this child. But it’s also important to understand the flip side — if children are endlessly praised without boundaries, they can grow up to be egotists. This topic requires deep understanding and a serious approach. Those who think everything is easily resolved simply do not wish to understand the real causes and effects of their lives.
External displays of confidence don’t always reflect the inner state. Sometimes a person appears confident, but inside feels anxious or uncomfortable. True confidence is not about putting on a show — it’s a deep internal state.
External social confidence is an easy, superficial story. Many people create flashy images around themselves: posting polished photos with their kids, building a stylish professional image. This artificially created sense of confidence is easy to attain. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube are filled with such displays — either showing off confidence or constant complaining. This phenomenon is interesting not only in life but also in marketing, where external confidence is often used as a tool of influence.
Today, many people talk about being "real" — authentically sharing their problems. People often display confidence through external actions, rather than sincerity.
True confidence is awareness of life and an understanding of cause and effect. It does not depend on status, joy, or exciting events — it comes from deeply observing reality.
There is also egotistical, social confidence — when a person acts confident to meet expectations. This can be used as a tool, but it’s important not to deceive yourself into thinking it’s real confidence.
We're often told that in interviews you need to be confident — that if you’re confident, you’ll get the sales job. People say sales managers must be confident. But that’s a misconception.
Many companies actually seek managers who aren’t confident. There are even organizations that want employees with specific childhood traumas, not the opposite. Requirements for employees vary greatly.
What matters more is what a person transmits. An unconfident person can more easily transmit insecurity to others. In sales, sometimes that’s exactly what’s needed — to press on the client’s pain points. But in other situations, the salesperson works differently.
For instance, at a Chanel boutique, the salesperson doesn’t press on pain — they press on the customer’s confidence. Here, the employee must be extremely self-assured to support the client and sell the product. So in sales, there are different approaches: sometimes insecurity is needed, and sometimes — confidence.
If you’re applying to work at Chanel, it’s probably not a good idea to walk in thinking: "I’m not confident as a woman," or "I’m not sure I’m attractive," or "I’m not sure people are good," or "I’m not sure beauty and art can make a difference." Such doubts will leave you confused and won’t help you succeed.
Different spheres have certain social parameters of confidence, but these are not real confidence — they are just social expressions, often false and absurd.
If you want to develop true confidence, it lies in deep self-knowledge. Knowing yourself is every person’s main task. It’s through this understanding that real confidence is formed — not through superficial social masks.
The better a person knows themselves, the stronger and more confident they become — regardless of life circumstances. For example, people who lost their homes in Los Angeles wildfires reacted differently: some experienced deep tragedy, while others saw it as a new chapter. For some, the loss was a catastrophe; for others — an opportunity to rethink themselves and their lives.
Such an inner state is only possible through deep awareness and acceptance of life in all its manifestations. This is what creates real confidence — resilience in the face of any challenge.
There is a paradox in how we perceive confidence, especially regarding businesspeople and public figures whom we label as confident. But behind the façade often lies deceit and illusion — not confidence, but fear. Such people project fear, not inner stability.
The same applies to family relationships. Many who speak about how to build relationships are themselves insecure and don’t understand themselves well, yet they build an image of confidence. As a result, those around them absorb fear and develop false ideas about their own lives.
That’s why understanding the true nature of confidence is key to recognizing real situations and avoiding illusions and delusions. Knowing your own confidence helps you diagnose what’s happening around you and maintain inner peace.