#spirituality #selfdevelopment #personalitytransformation
About Manipulative Content and the Sense of Inner Truth
The most important thing is how you see your next step right now, understand it, and live it.
I've been saying the word "important" a lot lately. Maybe someone is driving in a car and listening to this in an earpiece or cooking in the kitchen with something playing in the background. They might realize how important it is to hire the right team, what needs to be done to scale a business, what needs to be accepted in a partnership to make a tenfold leap, how to find the right mentor, and so on. But the next day, a week, or a month later, they might not even remember what they heard. Moreover, in modern times, when people want to watch three-minute clips, one-minute clips, thirty-second clips, or ten to twenty-minute YouTube videos, when you can't sit down consciously and allocate time for a topic that is directly relevant to you.
The point isn't in these minutes, but in the fact that when you see and hear something important, something special, when it is true and genuine, and you feel it inside – you need to fix it, do everything possible to preserve it, so that tomorrow, a week, or a month later you remember it and it sticks with you.
If you don't let it stick, there are two fundamental problems. One is that while consuming content, you get a certain inner charge, for example, during a training session. But you don't act on it, and after some time, your state regarding that topic becomes even worse. You often might fall even lower because development and moving forward aren't always positive. Development can involve degradation.
Many people attend a multi-day training session, an event, or a seminar, get very energized. Do you see a cause-and-effect relationship where you attend the event, get energized, but three weeks later, you feel worse than before the event? Or you attend an event where everything is great: they talk about excellent cases, show how good it is to be together in a community, how interesting it is to interact, but two days later you start to feel empty.
An Event on the East Coast
I recently went to an event on the other coast in the USA – in Florida, just south of Miami. There was an event in West Palm Beach. There was one girl in our company who said, "I came to this event with no expectations. I feel pretty good, I just want to observe what's happening, try to see some opportunities that might open up while I'm here." Two days later she said, "You know, I woke up this morning feeling completely empty because I spent two days among very interesting people and a very intense environment. And today I woke up thinking, what am I even doing in this life? I'm 53 years old. What will happen to me next? What will happen to me in the future? What will happen in my life?"
I told her, "Wait a minute. We came here together to live and move forward. Or are we just here to observe, have a good time, make contact, and try to live? But life just starts to turn the system inside out, and we feel really bad. It's not necessarily when we're euphoric that we feel very good, but life in a state of observation, of living."
This example shows how a person, visiting a great place, who is incredibly strong (professionally, in business, creatively, and as a woman), can fall into a state of depression, even being in the right environment and coming without expectations.
So, on one hand, when you hear something important, you want to do it but don't – you can fall very hard. On the other hand, this knowledge has already appeared in your system and not doing it takes you back. The world says, "Wait a minute, we gave you this information, an opportunity came to you, and you're not using it." You lose it by not acting.
Fundamental reasons for slowing down development
So, what holds a person back from their own development? First of all – they themselves, we are only responsible for our own lives. We are responsible based on the experience we've had in this life, our heredity, karma, and our karmic path from the past life. We're not going to delve deeply into this, but it definitely forms the fundamental reasons for actions that happen around us. A person tells themselves that they are what holds them back from development, but in fact, they choose what moves them forward and develops them.
Let's define the terminology. By the word "development," I always mean two directions of movement: one we'll call "up" (this is positive, natural development from the perspective of evolutionary value things), the other – from the perspective of ongoing degradation, including yours. People at different times, in different life circumstances, can develop or degrade.
About big money
There is often an illusion when a person associates their state of development with a certain event. For example, they say, "I'll make a million dollars, move to Thailand, and everything will be great." They can make a million dollars, move to Thailand, become a drug addict, and die. Or they might get thrown in jail, or lose their family, or fall into depression, or start hating people and everything around them. Or they might make not a million dollars but 300 thousand dollars, feel internal freedom, strength, a sense of scale, make the next leap, and earn 50 million dollars.
I'm mentioning money here to compare the business component because there's a lot of information for business owners and those who want to start them. Money is definitely not an object, a measure, or an indicator directly related to your state. It's absolutely not connected to it, there's no correlation.
Big money can bring a state of joy, freedom, great opportunities, strong creativity, new events, ideas, actions, positive development. And at the same time, it can bring degradation, loss of self, and all the resulting consequences.
How we hold ourselves back. About your own state
The first thing a person needs to realize inside is that they are their own brake in terms of their development. This allows, in any meetings, negotiations, events with partners, employees, colleagues, friends, in the family, to first make themselves responsible for their own life. Every adult must do this: it's a natural, precise, important law.
It doesn't matter where you are at the moment, what role you play, and what position you hold. We're not talking about how to manipulate something to get development, not about business development elements, but about your own development, moving forward in all aspects: in business professionally, in money, revenue, in employees, in children, in relationships with your wife and parents, in travel, in freedom, in creativity, in your own internal state. You alone are responsible for your own internal state. All other factors we will discuss are additions to the first, which is the basis.
For example, there is the factor of your location, the country you are currently in. Can this slow down your development? Absolutely. But it's important to understand that this factor is not primary. The most important factor is you yourself, it's a completely different level. It's like the main leg on which everything stands.
The country definitely influences your development. On one hand, it's your current presence in the country – a completely different energy, circumstances. In certain countries, regions, you will feel different. It's not just development in terms of some number, like how much money you made, how your family forms, develops in terms of, for example, children. It's your internal state. Do you have suicidal thoughts in this place, and in another place – thoughts of joy, love, fullness, and freedom? Do you feel a desire to harm, quarrel at home with family, wife, husband, or partners? Or in this place, with every person, do you feel your strength? When you communicate with employees, do you feel filled? On the other hand, the country has incredible significance in terms of your birth, where you were born. It will be connected to you in 99% of cases for life. Even if you left this country – you will live the karma of the people in another place. There's no escaping and getting rid of this. Some events and influences may occur that seem to have nothing to do with you.
Again, I remind you that your own development is primarily hindered by you – don't forget this. And remember how important it is in such circumstances not to question something when it seems like it's all nonsense, rubbish, or obvious.
How important it is now to be in a state of observing what you hear: it will be useful to write this down. And to observe yourself, what state arises at this time: interest, significance, importance, euphoria, happiness or depression, hatred, dislike, disgust, misunderstanding? All these details just need to be observed at the moment and not given a positive or negative meaning. They just need to be observed.
Just like a person in a certain country gets emotions they don't want. They don't want to see a particular state, they often don't even understand where this state comes from. It seems to them that they studied a great book, went to a good training, or their life changed because their husband or wife started behaving differently, or because clients came to them, they made money. Often internal strength could appear because you ended up in the right country and in the right place.
What happens at home? About relationships and development
The next thing that affects your development (and doesn't let you develop) – is what happens at home.
Your wife or girlfriend, husband or boyfriend, the person who is next to you – they have an incredible influence. You at least spend every night together, interact in different layers and in living, and very often interact within your state, who you really are. Because you interact with this person both when you fall asleep and when you wake up – in a good mood and in a bad one. In absolutely different states. And this person definitely has an incredible influence on you.
I remind you that you bear primary responsibility for your own state and for what doesn't develop you. Meanwhile, another person, of course, does not develop you, but has an incredible influence. If suddenly now you feel that this is the point that holds you back, it doesn't mean you need to run away, break up with this person. It means that you need to start observing this.
About 10 years ago, I told myself in terms of my relationship with my wife: the best thing I can do is to try to work on myself in our relationship. My wife may change or not change in terms of how I will develop and move forward. And I immediately set the condition: I knew that in many things my wife will never change, she has the right not to change. When I am calm, neutral, in a good state, of course, it's very easy for me to say this. When I'm in a state of anger or aggression, which, of course, I may periodically have, I can forget about this. But basically, this is a big root for me.
I remember that, first of all, I am responsible for my own development stop. I know that my wife has an incredible influence on this development, and she can degrade me. At the same time, I remember that within our relationship, I am the person who can try to take certain actions, with the course of circumstances of which my wife might change. Meanwhile, I understand that there is a possibility, a condition, that she will never change and do nothing. This is such an important construct that gives me a very strong point of support every day, no matter what happens. I can forget it for 5 minutes, for half an hour, I can disconnect and enter a heavy state for an hour or two, but I still live through and transform it all the time.
About Children
Your children have an incredible impact on your development.
It's said that each child in a family is the biggest change in terms of fate and your life's forward movement. Each child can bring a huge correction to your life and your forward movement. Children initially made a correction, and you bear the responsibility for them. A child at 5 years old has a slightly different responsibility in terms of development. So, you are responsible for yourself in terms of development and for your child.
It's important to clearly say to yourself that you are not the one who dictates how your child's life will unfold. I am the one who can try my best to keep the child’s life within true values, but this life does not belong to me. This is another person. They chose to come into my life. I can help them from the beginning or try a little later if it’s important to them too. But children affect whether you develop or not.
How Environment Affects You
The next thing that affects your development is your acquaintances and people you interact with daily, weekly, or monthly. Each of them has an influence. A group of people can influence you in such a way that you'll only fall and move into a hole that will be very hard to get out of.
There's a good description: if you live with people who do pull-ups every day, you'll start doing pull-ups too; if you live with people who drink beer every day, you'll start drinking beer every day; if you live with people who hike every day, you'll start hiking; if you live with people who try to learn a musical instrument every day, you'll start playing a musical instrument. Of course, the people around you have an incredible influence on your development, and you need to look at this closely.
Again, if you see a whole group of people leading you to degradation (in your own opinion), remember that you are primarily responsible for your development and see how you can balance this relationship or develop it correctly to change the vector so that this person or environment doesn't lead to degradation.
There are environments you will need to leave, people you will need to part with. You will part with everyone around you: either they will die, or you will. You need to calmly understand that all relationships are limited, at least within a person’s lifetime; they will end anyway because death exists. The length of the relationship doesn't matter – whether it was 2 years or 15 years.
About Small-Talk and Perception Contours
I recently attended an event, a business gathering. I spent almost three and a half hours with two girls I met that day. There were many other people who wanted to meet or whom I knew, but I spent this time with them. We talked about how, at such events, people often engage in small talk for 3 minutes. We spent over 200 minutes: if the small talk was 5 minutes with someone, it’s as if I had 40 meetings. Maybe I could have met 40 people, but with these people, I expanded my perception contour; I connected much more with them. This means that someone I meet regularly, like my neighbor whom I see 20 or 50 times a year for 2 minutes, engaged me much less in a relationship and connection than someone I spent 3.5 hours with once. When we tried to hear each other, felt a kindred spirit – it was interesting, cool, and we paused everything else to be there. So, the duration of life and duration in relationships is not a crucial factor for measuring forward movement and development.
We also understand that random people, circumstances can influence our development. Not those close to us, but those we meet maybe once for 5 minutes, an hour, two, or in a store, on the street. These are events that often lie as some points in our lives that we find as treasures. But these treasures can both destroy and develop us. Some random person or passerby, some circumstance can drastically change and influence our own development, triggering another state or idea within us. This is the understanding of cause-and-effect relationships.
Your workplace also influences your development in terms of degradation. It is subdivided into several sub-factors. The first is your boss, the second is colleagues, the third is the energy of the company itself, and the fourth is the clients you interact with. It seems, how do clients affect me? They can have a strong impact if you work on a product that goes in that direction: for example, if you sell or develop it.
Your boss incredibly affects your life, but it's important to remember: your development depends only on you. From the boss's perspective, I always explained to my colleagues, employees, and leaders the following. There is a circle: you as an employee in my life are this little dot, the circle is my life. And I for you and work is half or a third of the circle.
This is not because I show my significance or insignificance, it's a fact. Just as some business may occupy a large part of my circle, so I for many others will be just a little dot. Understanding this gives an opportunity within the activity you engage in, even if you don’t like it, with your boss, colleagues, and the product you make, to find the right point of harmony and consciously make decisions.
What Else Affects Your Development
Many other factors influence your development, such as food or daily actions. You watch TV every evening, read a book, play with friends, sit alone at home and meditate, stare at the wall, go to the gym, or hike – all these things can influence you incredibly, including leading to degradation. For some, repeating daily actions develops them, and for others – the opposite. The same gym, in the same place, affects each person differently. I've been involved in martial arts like boxing for a long time. I can't say I excelled in them, but I practiced. Each time, I knew and was pointed out from the perspective of my development that when I attend such classes, I become more aggressive. Meanwhile, my partner Petya Osipov, doing boxing, calmed down. We are different people; we have different systems. We went to the same coach and trained together: we both got tired, but different feelings were born in us.
Moreover, if you continue for a long time, it can transform and lead to completely different circumstances. Even if it seems good at first, in the future it can lead to significant degradation or dry you out completely, putting you in a state of weakness, insecurity, confusion, or, on the contrary, in a state of love, joy, happiness, and understanding of each person. You are always responsible for your life. What should I do in terms of development and current life right now to change the angle of movement, to develop growth, scale?