“How Alcohol Steals Your Ambitions”

— There is such a phenomenon: people who stop drinking or who have never drunk often face misunderstanding, jokes, as if they need to justify themselves. Why does this happen?

— This is primarily connected to the person themselves. In any society people can laugh—both at those who drink and those who don’t. It is important to realize: this is your choice. You either trade or don’t trade your freedom, your balance, your relationship with your children for money or status.

There are people who have never drunk in their lives. I know such people—both young and old. Recently I spoke with a woman who knew since childhood that alcohol was bad. She never drank. And I thought: what if I had also not drunk in my youth—how would my life have changed? A lot. Because many connections were held together only by alcohol: Friday gatherings, discos, feasts. In that atmosphere it was hard to stay sober. It’s the same now—there are environments where I cannot stay, even if there is no alcohol there.

— Do people who drink influence those who don’t?

— Of course. Any person in a space has an influence. You can tolerate one, you can tolerate two, but if there are forty drinkers in the room—it’s impossible. Conversations with a drunk person are pointless, their perception is narrowed.

When I stopped drinking, some of my friends also stopped drinking—at least in my house. At first, they brought their own alcohol, then they just stopped. In the end, my wine cabinet turned into storage for tomatoes and oil. Why? Because the atmosphere had changed: we gathered, we socialized—and without alcohol it was good.

I always had a rule: if the company starts drinking, that’s it—out of my house. Because I don’t need drunk people around, it affects my state, my children, and the energy of the space.

And it’s also important: people don’t understand the long-term influence of alcohol. Everyone knows the short-term consequences: hangovers, health deteriorating. But very few think about how alcohol changes life through 10, 20, 30 years. These are missed events, altered decisions, different partnerships, habits, tastes.

There is also an energetic aspect: even a small dose of alcohol changes the structure of the astral body for years. A person doesn’t understand the consequences, and that is exactly the problem.

— So does a safe dose not exist?

— If you drink “a glass of wine every other day,” that is already dependence. Physical, psychological, energetic—on all levels.

More important than just “stopping drinking” is to realize the essence of alcohol. For me, it happened like an insight: I suddenly, with my whole being, understood that I didn’t need to drink. And I stopped immediately.

If a person hesitates—it means they haven’t realized. Awareness removes doubt completely.

We might be shown a famous person, told what a good, family-oriented person they are, and they have many wine cabinets—look how chic. What do you feel? You’re comparing the external picture. But do you know how the person really feels? Have you studied their state? Do you know what this person is not living, not feeling, not seeing, not perceiving?

— What do you not feel at all if you drink alcohol?

— You will never come to a broad perception. You won’t be able to sincerely rejoice at the sky, to see infinite love in a child. Alcohol narrows life down to illusions: “I need to relax—I’ll drink.” If a person cannot relax without alcohol—that’s a reason for psychiatry.

And here it doesn’t matter how much money you have or what achievements you’ve made. There are rich and successful people who don’t drink. Alcohol is not connected with money. But it is directly connected with consequences: worse health, more conflicts, harder mornings, weaker brain, worse perception in society, unpleasant smell, illnesses, pimples, expenses, a state of being lost.

By the way, the savings are obvious: recently four of us went to a restaurant. The bill—700 dollars, of which 400 was a bottle of wine for the neighbors. I paid mainly for their alcohol. If they hadn’t drunk—the bill would have been almost half as much.

Alcohol has other problems as well. The main one is that at some point a person may not cope with the dependence. And it is important to understand: alcohol is always dependence, guaranteed dependence.

If you doubt it, try an experiment. A person has several basic dependencies, one of them is food. For example, in front of you is a Napoleon cake, and you really love it. If you are sure you don’t have dependence, try saying to yourself: “I don’t want Napoleon.” And really feel that you don’t want it. Did it work? If not—it means dependence exists. Take another example: meat, sweets, whatever. The same principle works with alcohol.

If you really want to understand, say to yourself calmly: “I will not drink.” And see what you feel in that moment. Are you losing friends? Do you feel stress, apathy, irritation? Or the opposite—calm? If you go into a company and simply say: “I’m not drinking today,” and everything stays normal—that means there is no dependence. If in the evening at home the thought hits you “I want wine, I can’t live without it,” then “No, I’m testing myself, I don’t want it”—and you really manage it, then everything is clean.

It is very important not to lie to yourself, not to cover dependence with pretty excuses. It’s like with Che Guevara: someone hangs his poster and says “great liberator,” but the fact is, he killed children and enjoyed executing prisoners. These are known facts, but people prefer the illusion.

The same with alcohol. Many say: “Wine is art, culture.” Yes, externally there is beauty there, but the basis of all this is one thing—alcohol, dependence. To turn it into a “great space” and close your eyes to the truth is impossible. It’s the same as justifying a killer who shoots people on weekends, and then opens a charity fund. We understand who he really is, and we cannot ignore it. The same with alcohol: you cannot close your eyes to the truth.