ā There is such a phenomenon: people who stop drinking or who have never drunk often face misunderstanding, jokes, as if they need to justify themselves. Why does this happen?
ā This is primarily connected to the person themselves. In any society people can laughāboth at those who drink and those who donāt. It is important to realize: this is your choice. You either trade or donāt trade your freedom, your balance, your relationship with your children for money or status.
There are people who have never drunk in their lives. I know such peopleāboth young and old. Recently I spoke with a woman who knew since childhood that alcohol was bad. She never drank. And I thought: what if I had also not drunk in my youthāhow would my life have changed? A lot. Because many connections were held together only by alcohol: Friday gatherings, discos, feasts. In that atmosphere it was hard to stay sober. Itās the same nowāthere are environments where I cannot stay, even if there is no alcohol there.
ā Do people who drink influence those who donāt?
ā Of course. Any person in a space has an influence. You can tolerate one, you can tolerate two, but if there are forty drinkers in the roomāitās impossible. Conversations with a drunk person are pointless, their perception is narrowed.
When I stopped drinking, some of my friends also stopped drinkingāat least in my house. At first, they brought their own alcohol, then they just stopped. In the end, my wine cabinet turned into storage for tomatoes and oil. Why? Because the atmosphere had changed: we gathered, we socializedāand without alcohol it was good.
I always had a rule: if the company starts drinking, thatās itāout of my house. Because I donāt need drunk people around, it affects my state, my children, and the energy of the space.
And itās also important: people donāt understand the long-term influence of alcohol. Everyone knows the short-term consequences: hangovers, health deteriorating. But very few think about how alcohol changes life through 10, 20, 30 years. These are missed events, altered decisions, different partnerships, habits, tastes.
There is also an energetic aspect: even a small dose of alcohol changes the structure of the astral body for years. A person doesnāt understand the consequences, and that is exactly the problem.
ā So does a safe dose not exist?
ā If you drink āa glass of wine every other day,ā that is already dependence. Physical, psychological, energeticāon all levels.
More important than just āstopping drinkingā is to realize the essence of alcohol. For me, it happened like an insight: I suddenly, with my whole being, understood that I didnāt need to drink. And I stopped immediately.
If a person hesitatesāit means they havenāt realized. Awareness removes doubt completely.
We might be shown a famous person, told what a good, family-oriented person they are, and they have many wine cabinetsālook how chic. What do you feel? Youāre comparing the external picture. But do you know how the person really feels? Have you studied their state? Do you know what this person is not living, not feeling, not seeing, not perceiving?
ā What do you not feel at all if you drink alcohol?
ā You will never come to a broad perception. You wonāt be able to sincerely rejoice at the sky, to see infinite love in a child. Alcohol narrows life down to illusions: āI need to relaxāIāll drink.ā If a person cannot relax without alcoholāthatās a reason for psychiatry.
And here it doesnāt matter how much money you have or what achievements youāve made. There are rich and successful people who donāt drink. Alcohol is not connected with money. But it is directly connected with consequences: worse health, more conflicts, harder mornings, weaker brain, worse perception in society, unpleasant smell, illnesses, pimples, expenses, a state of being lost.
By the way, the savings are obvious: recently four of us went to a restaurant. The billā700 dollars, of which 400 was a bottle of wine for the neighbors. I paid mainly for their alcohol. If they hadnāt drunkāthe bill would have been almost half as much.
Alcohol has other problems as well. The main one is that at some point a person may not cope with the dependence. And it is important to understand: alcohol is always dependence, guaranteed dependence.
If you doubt it, try an experiment. A person has several basic dependencies, one of them is food. For example, in front of you is a Napoleon cake, and you really love it. If you are sure you donāt have dependence, try saying to yourself: āI donāt want Napoleon.ā And really feel that you donāt want it. Did it work? If notāit means dependence exists. Take another example: meat, sweets, whatever. The same principle works with alcohol.
If you really want to understand, say to yourself calmly: āI will not drink.ā And see what you feel in that moment. Are you losing friends? Do you feel stress, apathy, irritation? Or the oppositeācalm? If you go into a company and simply say: āIām not drinking today,ā and everything stays normalāthat means there is no dependence. If in the evening at home the thought hits you āI want wine, I canāt live without it,ā then āNo, Iām testing myself, I donāt want itāāand you really manage it, then everything is clean.
It is very important not to lie to yourself, not to cover dependence with pretty excuses. Itās like with Che Guevara: someone hangs his poster and says āgreat liberator,ā but the fact is, he killed children and enjoyed executing prisoners. These are known facts, but people prefer the illusion.
The same with alcohol. Many say: āWine is art, culture.ā Yes, externally there is beauty there, but the basis of all this is one thingāalcohol, dependence. To turn it into a āgreat spaceā and close your eyes to the truth is impossible. Itās the same as justifying a killer who shoots people on weekends, and then opens a charity fund. We understand who he really is, and we cannot ignore it. The same with alcohol: you cannot close your eyes to the truth.