How to feel love for life and energy again in a week

— I want to talk about those moments when you don’t want anything. When you feel so empty that there is no desire for anything: not for actions, not for life itself. You can’t do anything and you don’t want anything. This state, as a rule, has different causes. It may be burnout, loss of faith in yourself, depression. If we look into each of these areas—how it affects a person, and what the person themselves does with this state—then we can understand: what should you do when you don’t want anything?

— Does a person have the right to be in a state when they don’t want anything? Basically, society considers: if you don’t want anything—that’s a problem; doing nothing—that’s a problem. The modern social world insists: a person must work 8 hours a day, must travel, must have hobbies, must develop, read books, must always want something. That’s how the discourse of society is built.

But to understand the state of “not wanting anything,” we need to ask: is it really a problem? After all, if a person says, “I don’t want anything,” this isn’t necessarily a tragedy. For example, if a person constantly wants to eat a lot—that’s also a problem, isn’t it?

I want to emphasize: the state of “not wanting anything” can, in general, be normal, natural, even a good state of life. Honestly speaking about myself: sometimes I would sincerely want to want nothing. Nothing at all. Just live in that state—and enjoy it. Not suffer, not torment myself, but be in “I don’t want anything” and be happy there. This is a very important starting point for this conversation. If a person finds themselves in such a state, the first step is to admit: “Yes, this can also be a wonderful, natural state.”

— But what if this state brings heaviness—physical, emotional, psychological? For example, if we’re talking about burnout: “I burned out at work. I burned out in the family. I burned out in relationships.” Then what?

— Then we begin to examine the reasons. Because the state of “not wanting anything” can be a consequence of burnout. A person did certain actions again and again—and ended up at a point where they are sick of it. For example, from working 15 hours a day, which brings no happiness. Or from endless chores and caring for children.

But here’s the key point: not everyone gets sick of it. My wife, for example, spends a huge amount of time with our four children. And it doesn’t exhaust her but, on the contrary, brings her joy. I myself notice: the more time I spend with my kids, the more I want to spend even more. Of course, there are moments when I want to be alone. But overall, I am happy when I am with the children. The same with work: I worked a lot—and I want to work even more.

But for other people in similar conditions, there may be the opposite reaction—total aversion and fatigue. Therefore, it’s important to ask yourself: what is the true cause of my burnout? That’s where the root of the state “I don’t want anything” lies.

— What to do? It feels like the battery has been switched off, a person pulled out of the socket. Is this fatigue or true burnout? How serious is this state?

— When a person burns out, it’s usually connected with the fact that they don’t understand their next steps or forbid themselves from doing something important. I didn’t say in vain: “doing nothing” is normal. But the problem is that in the state of inaction many begin to destroy themselves. Just like with work that causes burnout: a person continues to do what is killing them instead of looking for other solutions.

Imagine: you have a boss who yells, is rude, or humiliates people. You have two options: accept this model (and then stop complaining), or look for other solutions—change jobs, change your approach. But to stay in endless complaining “the boss is bad”—that is a direct road to burnout.

The first step to getting out is a simple inner agreement with yourself. For example: “For the next three months, I will go to work with interest and love. I will treat it calmly.” This isn’t a final decision, but it is a point of stabilization. Because from a state of deep exhaustion or even suicidal thoughts, it is impossible to make the right decision.

It’s very important to understand: there are no instant solutions. Burnout cannot be ‘cured’ with a snap. But you can make a temporary decision that will give you strength to return to an adequate state. And only from there make real decisions.

— Is there a connection between burnout and lack of meaning?

— Yes, very often. Imagine: a person has heard since childhood that they are “nobody” and “nothing will come of them.” For decades they try to prove the opposite. They end up in an environment where this is almost impossible, and eventually they burn out. Because they are constantly trying to prove something.

But you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. If I go to work only to prove to my boss that I’m the best, and there is no response—I will burn out. If I raise children not out of love but to show my parents that I “managed it”—I will burn out.

One of the fundamental causes of burnout is the constant striving to prove something to someone. This is a mistake in goal-setting.

That’s why when people say “I have no goal,” that’s not quite true. There is always a goal. But if actions are not connected to that goal, or are done without awareness, burnout arises.

— And is burnout and depression connected? Are they the same or different states?

— Burnout always has an object. “I burned out from work.” “I burned out from relationships.” “I burned out from life in this city.”

Depression has no object. This is a state that seems to arise without an external cause. But even depression always has a deep cause—it’s just not obvious.

A very simple and useful practice: in any heavy state ask yourself the question: “What is the cause of my state?” And then—look for the cause of that cause. And keep going deeper.

Most people don’t do this. They are content with a superficial explanation: “I burned out from this job.” But the real question is deeper: “Why did I end up in this job in the first place? What was driving me? How did I get here?”

And that’s when the real roots of the state are revealed.