Anxiety. Where does it come from? Why do we often get stuck in this state—and how can we change it?
Why Does Anxiety Intensify?
The most important factor that amplifies anxiety is the lack of real work on understanding its causes and effects.
If we simply try to “remove” anxiety without understanding where it originates, we won’t get anywhere. It’s like being cold in a house with the front door wide open: you can wrap yourself in ten blankets, but the problem remains.
So the first step is to deal with that “door”—the source of your anxiety.
Anxiety as a Habit
Very often, we are the ones who create anxiety around ourselves and others. I’ve met thousands of people who literally generate anxiety in their environment. In business, for example, employees think their bosses are deliberately spreading anxiety, while the bosses complain that their employees are constantly stressing out. The same dynamic shows up in families and friendships.
So it’s worth asking: am I the one creating this anxious atmosphere?
Sometimes anxiety turns into an oddly pointless emotion. Often, it stems from a deep-seated belief learned in childhood—this idea of always being on alert, always being prepared for something bad to happen. You can spend years fearing you’ll lose your job—and never actually lose it—yet live in constant stress. Why?
Or take another example: someone tries to quit smoking, spends years feeling anxious, and ends up going back to the habit. So what was the point of all that worrying?
My grandmother once bought herself a funeral suit at age 70 and then, every year, would say she was about to die. She didn’t just live in permanent anxiety—she projected it onto everyone around her, constantly reminding them of her “imminent” death. That’s not an example of being prepared—it’s a false declaration of something that hasn’t happened, but still generates stress.
And then there’s the opposite case: when a person refuses to face reality. Maybe you really are at risk of being fired. But is it worth spiraling? Wouldn’t it be better to look at the situation clearly, understand what’s going on, and address the issue constructively?
The goal isn’t to panic with a “the sky is falling” mindset. It’s to observe your emotional state. When we shift from panic to experiencing anxiety consciously, everything changes. You begin saying to yourself: “Okay, I feel uncomfortable right now, I’m worried, but I’m just going to sit with this feeling, see what it’s doing to me.” Often, simply observing the emotion is enough for it to begin to dissolve.
Observe, Don’t Fight
The most powerful practice I talk about is transforming anxiety into presence and observation. Stop trying to “eliminate” it. Let yourself truly feel what it’s like to carry it within you.
Picture this: you’re on vacation, but mentally you’re still at work. Rather than obsessively checking your inbox every five minutes, consciously choose to experience the anxiety. Watch how it shows up in your body, how your mind starts spinning. Don’t try to get rid of it—just observe.
This step—giving yourself permission to feel the anxiety without fighting it—is what brings real relief.
The core habit that keeps us trapped in anxiety is the refusal to examine its root causes—and the constant resistance to the very fact that we can feel fear.
But what if you stopped and asked yourself: “Why am I so worried? What door in my life have I left open?” At that point, one of two things happens: either you realize the problem is imagined and you’ve been spiraling for no reason, or you see the problem is real—but now you’re facing it constructively, without self-destruction.
Turning anxiety into observation is already half the path to peace.