#spirituality #selfdevelopment #personalitytransformation
The idea of the perfect moment and what it means
People often ask themselves, "When is the perfect moment to take a certain action - to get married, change jobs, start a business, start a family, make a shift in life, or work on oneself?" When does that perfect moment come? Or do people just keep waiting for it and act only when they believe the perfect moment has arrived? Or does that moment never come? Years go by, and that moment never arrives. Because of this, people alter their dreams, goals, tasks, and various actions.
Do we need to live based on the idea of the perfect moment?
Distinguishing between a realistic perception of the right moment and the illusion of the perfect moment
It's important to separate and understand two different states.
On the one hand, there is a realistic perception of the right moment to do something. There are indeed moments that are right for making decisions, like when to quit a job.
Or there could be a good (not necessarily perfect) moment to start a business.
In theory, you might even find the right time to conceive a child – after all, there’s physiology, so there might be a right time. Is there a perfect moment for a relationship with someone to be good? I don't think so. Is there a good moment to rekindle a relationship with someone? Maybe, if you've been out of touch for a long time and run into that person somewhere, that might be a good moment to do so. This probably applies to almost any event or action. But that's a realistic perception of the perfect moment.
On the other hand, some people see the perfect moment as a kind of race to anticipate what's going to happen and aim to rely on that. They tell themselves, "If it's not the perfect moment right now, then I won't do it." And they define the perfect moment by saying, "I know what a perfect moment is. I know how to determine it." If someone relies on the perfect moment, they’ve told themselves they know how to define this concept. They're essentially saying, "I completely control my life, every event that happens. I know how the world works, so I'll choose the right moment." But that's an illusion.
So, while the perfect moment does exist, it's important not to fall into an illusion.
When perfect moments do exist, you have to understand, for example, that today might be the right time to conceive a child. Together with your wife, you have to accept that you could be wrong and things might not go as planned. Or this month might be the perfect time to start a business. I've freed up some time, found a partner, or things have aligned, and I say, "Yes, this is a good moment, I'm starting now." It could be perfect, but it doesn’t guarantee that the business will succeed. I haven't seen someone in a while and run into them – it's the perfect moment to restore the relationship. Yes, it's probably a good and maybe even a perfect moment for that, but I understand that the relationship might not be restored or could be restored only to become very bad, bringing a lot of negative consequences. It's important to understand that a perfect moment can bring both good and bad things. If you rely on the perfect moment as a guaranteed truth you’ve set for yourself, you could fall into a huge misconception. That’s why it’s important to stay in a state of balance. We move forward and tell ourselves, “Should we even think about the idea that some perfect moments exist, or should we just trust the flow of life?”
The thing is, even if you truly trust life and go with its flow, if you are in a state of observation, freedom, and open to everything, when you make certain decisions, they will happen at that very perfect moment. You will automatically begin to do this, and more and more events will happen at specific moments that will seem perfect. You’re not actually choosing the space: you’re living in a state of perfect moments or absolute freedom and detachment.
When you say the perfect moment doesn't exist, you're denying some things that are obvious and real. Again, when you say this, you’re suggesting that you know everything. It’s easy to say after positive events have occurred that it was the perfect moment for that. For example, you bought stock in some company, and it grew a year later, and you say you bought it at the perfect moment: "That was when the company was undergoing a change, the company did a bunch of things to make their stock rise, and I bought at the perfect moment." You happened to have the money at that time, too, and so on. It’s easy to evaluate and say after the fact, when good events have happened, that the moment was perfect. Such things happen in everyone’s life, so it’s important to stay in a state of observation.
Perfect moments and their impact on others
When analyzing the perfect moment, we must understand that there are other people around us. Just because the moment is perfect for you doesn’t mean it’s the same for your business partner, employee, boss, spouse, kids, parents, or anyone else. The right point in the chain of events may be necessary specifically for you. In that moment, it may bring real progress for you, while for others, it could lead to decline.
I used to be the owner of the company Business Molodost, one of the largest business education platforms in the Russian-speaking world. At first, I was just the owner and partner, then after some time, I became the CEO, and later I stepped down from being CEO and stayed on as just the owner. I remember when I stepped down from being CEO, a close mentor of mine told me, "You made the right decision for yourself." Essentially, it was the perfect moment to make the decision to leave because one of the main points in the business was the relationships: at the time, Petya Osipov wanted me to step down as CEO, so it was the perfect moment for me to do so. At the same time, my mentor said it would end very badly for the company. In other words, it was the right decision for me at that time, but not for the company, which is what ended up happening in terms of certain circumstances. It’s very important to see and understand these things when you’re making certain decisions and to be prepared for various consequences.
If you’re making a decision now based solely on your understanding that it’s the perfect moment for you, are you ready for the fact that things may not work out for others, or they may not succeed? And are you sure you’re not making a mistake with your decision, and maybe it’s better not to make it right now?
When we use the word "perfect," we’re probably talking about something that is distributed perfectly in life, as right as possible in the context of life. When we say "perfect for me," that can be an exaggerated state of self-interest, a personal gain. But if we view "the perfect moment" as the right moment in the context of life, the planet, and other people, it becomes a great way to move forward. What can you pay attention to when studying the perfect moment, after taking the first comprehensive step in understanding the concept? Pay attention to how these moments interact with other people and events in the context of life.
When making certain decisions, we often influence other people around us.
Modern people often don't notice this; they act only based on themselves. Some might argue and say, “Alexander, when I make a decision, I don’t think about myself at all, but only about others.” This should be observed carefully (I’m not saying doubted) and looked at closely: is there some self-deception in this, where you’re actually saving yourself? You just don’t want to take responsibility when you say you’re making a decision for others.
Responsibility and decision-making
Maybe you're just saving yourself because you're running away from one of the most difficult aspects of human life – it's responsibility, and first of all responsibility to yourself. Be responsible in life.