#scaling #business #personal development #stress #self-improvement #practices
How to ask for forgiveness? How to do it right? How should you ask for forgiveness at work, from your boss, colleagues, partners, your employees, wife, husband, children, parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances? What should be your internal state?
The thing is, true forgiveness is something where your personality isn't involved, where you don't expect a "thank you," where you're ready to hear silence, to hear complaints in response to your apology. It's something where you ask for forgiveness and get a very strange reaction in return. We are brought up this way: we want to ask for forgiveness and get something for it because we are asking forgiveness for something. We always want to do it this way; we try to achieve some balance.
Often a person says, "I asked for forgiveness," or "I apologized several times." You apologized several times, but before that, you stole, created a situation where the person felt stressed for a whole year. Sorry, but you created a state where the person lost themselves and couldn't recover. Are you sure that you can ask for forgiveness for this and the person must necessarily respond?
True forgiveness is a state where you expect nothing in return.
There is, of course, a part of forgiveness when you do it based on certain events that have happened in your life. You feel that forgiveness is necessary because you did something wrong.
In most cases, a person doesn't ask for forgiveness in 90% of situations where they know they did something wrong. They say, "Why should I ask for forgiveness if the other person doesn't want to ask for forgiveness?" This is the expectation of a reaction from the other side.
But there is true forgiveness: something that is completely different in terms of a person's development, their scaling, strength, freedom. The forgiveness that gives real freedom.
This is when you ask for forgiveness from another person from your heart, based on some internal urge to do so. You feel that it is necessary right here and now. With this forgiveness, you want not just to give more, not just to balance something, but to give freedom, hope, joy to another person, to help them think about something else in life.
But forgiveness is by no means your selfish desire to change another person. It is something that needs to be done for another person just because.
If we all could calmly ask for forgiveness in life, without thinking, did I do it right or not, without expecting a reaction from the other person – just ask for forgiveness. Even if you do it with the same person 20 times. A person asked for forgiveness three times, and the fourth time they can't. They say they've already done it three times. Ask for it a fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh time. Keep doing it as long as you feel it is necessary.
Don't try to balance your own mistake with forgiveness. Ask for forgiveness because it needs to be done. Don't look for balance on both sides. It's like a man cheats on a woman and then asks for forgiveness, giving flowers, gifts, rings, trips. This is not forgiveness, but manipulation.
Start asking for forgiveness from yourself without expectations. Forgive yourself without expectations, without balance. This is a very big key to moving forward. Forgiveness of others lies through forgiveness of oneself. Everything works the other way around here.