A depressive state is a reduction of your internal scale. It’s a shrinking of your potential, a narrowing of perception, and a decrease in the joy of living. It’s important not only to pay attention to those around you who are in depression, but to take a closer look at yourself, to understand the root of your own condition.
The cause of depression isn’t a lack of money, or the absence of a spouse. These external circumstances don’t define depression. Numbers and comparisons don’t matter in this context. What matters most is being honest with yourself and realizing the real source of the problem. That’s the foundation for working on yourself and overcoming a depressive state.
You’re headed for depression if you keep doing the same things. Essentially, your entire life you’ve been repeating actions that push you deeper into depression and reinforce it—until it becomes nearly impossible to escape. By becoming aware of these mistakes, you gain the opportunity not just to reduce or eliminate depression, but to significantly expand yourself, grow, and develop as a person.
The first major mistake that leads to stress and depression is comparing yourself to others. This is especially noticeable when scrolling through social media, where people unconsciously measure their lives against those of friends, acquaintances, or even their own parents.
One especially important comparison is the one with your parents. Often, parents want their children to be like them—to repeat their path, to follow the same values they take pride in. And if the parents faced difficulties in their lives, they try to impose alternative paths on their children—paths that they believe are better, usually based on someone else’s experience. This kind of constant pressure is a form of comparison that stifles individual growth. You must remember that every person is unique. Just like your child, you are not required to be a copy of your parents or anyone else. Your uniqueness is the foundation of your personal journey and growth.
The second common mistake is wishing bad upon others. It’s important to become aware of how often throughout the day you feel such emotions or send such wishes toward others. It can happen anywhere—in a café, at work with colleagues or a boss, with partners, or at home with loved ones: your spouse, your children, your parents. Who did you actually wish something bad upon? What negative thoughts did you allow about others—or yourself?
Understand that thinking negatively is, at its core, also wishing harm.
There’s a direct and undeniable connection between such thoughts and a depressive state. When you direct negativity toward someone, you’re initiating that negativity within yourself first. A combination of depression, stress, fear, and distorted perception inevitably shows up through negative behavior toward others. This doesn’t necessarily mean overt hostility—it can be as subtle as an internal wish or a passing harmful thought.
This isn’t a call to become endlessly kind or perfect in your relationships. It’s a crucial observation: even when you simply compare yourself to someone and wish them failure—because you think they’re “fake” or “dishonest”—you’re triggering a chain of negative emotions. That very process is one of the deepest factors contributing to the onset and strengthening of depression.
This mistake is fundamental and requires conscious attention if you want to improve your emotional state and move out of depression.
One of the most important realizations in life is understanding that life isn’t static or unchangeable. People often believe—especially around age 30—that their life path is already set and will remain that way forever. But in reality, life proves otherwise.
👤 For example, I’m 42 now. If I look back at 2013—12 years ago—my life was completely different. I lived in Moscow, had one child, and was the co-founder and CEO of “Business Molodost.” Now, I live in California, have four children, completely different businesses and professional activities. I no longer hold executive positions; instead, I make YouTube videos. Just 12 years, and everything changed radically. If I look ahead another 12 years to when I’ll be 54, I can already expect that my life will be totally different again. Likewise, if I rewind to 2001—I was a second-year university student in Minsk, studying programming. My father was alive, I had no wife or kids. I worked as a systems administrator in a computer club and was just starting to try my hand in business—we were selling phones, but that business never really launched.
This realization shows that life constantly changes, and even the plans that seem fixed today can radically transform over time.
The mistake is that many people don’t realize they still have decades of life ahead. As a result, they shut down their perception and narrow it, losing vast opportunities.
Life will inevitably change—in business, in your profession, in relationships, in your emotional state, and in how you perceive the world. Even if something bothers you right now, your preferences may completely shift over time. For instance, someone who dislikes the color red today might love it years later. A person uninterested in hiking or playing piano now might become passionate about it later. Career paths also shift dramatically: a programmer becomes an artist, and vice versa.
These changes can be so profound that it’s hard to imagine how different your life might become. It’s essential to realize that your life holds countless opportunities and transformations that will happen.
This awareness, and the recognition of your own vast potential and the diversity of life scenarios, automatically begins to pull you out of depression. If you live for just one week in this state of awareness, your depression will noticeably decrease. Living in this state consistently makes depression impossible. The point is, this particular mistake—believing your life is fixed—must be eradicated to prevent falling into depression.
Staying in this state of awareness is a fundamental and difficult task. That’s why I’m outlining a series of mistakes you might be making. By working on them, you give yourself the chance to maintain a healthy balance and avoid slipping into depression.
Depression is a contraction of your inner scale. It’s less opportunity, less joy, fewer emotions, fewer new people, less growth professionally and personally. In essence, depression is a narrowing of perception—a relentless narrowing.
There’s a vivid example that illustrates the nature of narrowed perception. When people drink alcohol, the initial fun doesn’t come from being on the same wavelength—it comes from everyone’s perception narrowing. With this narrowed perception, it becomes easier to find common ground.
If you bring people together and artificially narrow their perception, it becomes easy for them to engage in the same activity. But the next day, the perception partially expands—not fully, but in scattered ways. As a result, the person feels disharmonious, because now their perception is activated in random places, unlike the previous unified state.
Depression narrows your life to a single point, leading to an internal death—not physical, but spiritual. You stop existing as a whole person. In today’s world, hundreds of millions—maybe over a billion—people live in a constant state of depression. And that number keeps growing.
The important thing is not to focus on others in depression, but to understand yourself and the reasons you’re falling into it. Depression doesn’t come from a lack of money or a partner—those factors are irrelevant. Comparisons and numbers have no bearing on depression.
It’s easy to see that some people with nothing don’t fall into depression, while others who have everything do. The key is not lying to yourself and understanding the real causes of depression so you can effectively deal with it.
The third mistake is seeing your life as something very small and narrow. In reality, every person has the ability to expand a thousandfold—to feel stronger, larger, more vibrant. Everyone can make their life more colorful, rich, interesting, flavorful, and full—turning it into something truly alive.
👤 Watching the world today, I notice an interesting phenomenon. For example, the cameraman who often films me doesn’t realize how many years of life he still has ahead—years full of work, family, and experiences. Right now, his family life takes up only a tiny portion of his future. That’s beautiful in one sense—there’s so much more to come. But on the other hand, most people want the best things to happen here and now, immediately. They don’t believe anything else could happen in the future.
Because of this, people become like hamsters on a wheel—they can’t escape the routine, feeling apathy, depression, disappointment, and dishonesty. Every day feels the same, with the same problems that only change in form from person to person. People often think that if they had someone else’s life, things would be better. But that’s an illusion—everyone has their own struggles. By comparing yourself to others, you just run away from yourself and fail to address the main problem: your internal conflict.
To prevent depression from ever occurring, it’s vital to understand its nature and roots. Sure, you’ll still feel stress, fear, negativity, imbalance, or grief at times. But depression is a unique state—when a person sinks into it long-term and can’t get out on their own. People start taking medication or seeing professionals just to mute the symptoms—instead of working with the root cause.
The main thing is to realize that therapy or treatment shouldn’t just be about removing symptoms. It should be about deeply understanding yourself. Your daily goal must be to truly discover who you are as a person, how the world works, what really matters, and why certain things happen. That requires abandoning the illusions fed to us by media, social networks, and distorted views of reality.
It’s important to recognize that different countries interpret history differently, Nobel Prize winners can be wrong, research constantly evolves, and society often lives in deception and unverified information. Only through deep reflection and true self-awareness can you prevent depression and live in harmony with yourself and the world around you.
👤 I don’t understand how people can live in such falsehood. I recently asked my close friend Dmitry: why do people in countries where the government lies to them constantly not react to it? His answer was both simple and shocking. He said those people want to do the same thing. They want the kind of power where they can deceive, profit, steal, avoid work, and place their children and relatives in cushy jobs. They want to live without responsibility and would happily trade places with current leaders. It’s both astonishing and disturbing—how deeply this reflects the collapse of moral and ethical values in today’s society.
The fundamental mistake many people make is not wanting to truly understand themselves. Often, when they say “personal development” or “self-awareness,” they’re just stroking their ego—which ultimately leads to depression. It’s important to ask yourself every day: what am I actually doing today to truly understand myself?
When you go to therapy, work on spiritual or professional growth, or analyze your relationships—ask yourself honestly: am I truly learning about myself, or just trying to fix problems? Do I just want to get rid of depression, learn how to make money, and understand how finance works? Or do I want to enjoy working and find a job that brings emotional balance?
Think about why some people—with the same circumstances, jobs, or even ten kids—don’t get depressed, while others with far fewer responsibilities do. This kind of ongoing self-observation and questioning can drastically lower depression and move you closer to truly understanding yourself.
If you spend just one week working on the four core mistakes, your depression will shift dramatically. The work isn’t a one-time insight—it’s a daily practice of remembering and tracking them. For convenience, print out these four mistakes and get into the habit of reflecting on them for at least an hour each day. This simple exercise will give you a powerful push toward improvement.
Depression often hides in the smallest things—and you shouldn’t be quick to label yourself. We see it all the time: kids constantly being diagnosed—by parents, grandparents, teachers, and everyone around them. The same happens at work: colleagues, bosses, HR—everyone slaps on labels. You need to eliminate this from your life.
Realize that you have the potential to scale yourself a thousand times over. At that scale, depression becomes impossible. Even if you just double your internal scale, depression will retreat. And this is possible for every single person—to grow, to expand, and to live free of depression.