8 Elements That Impact Your Development

AVAlexander Volchek

They say, “I'll earn a million dollars, I'll have a million dollars, I'll move to Thailand, and everything will be wonderful.” Your money can bring tremendous decline. They could earn a million dollars, move to Thailand, become addicted to drugs, and die. Or your overall state has become somehow strange. Every adult is obliged to do this. And this person is guaranteed to have an enormous influence on you. What most often holds you back from development, from scaling and growth, from your life developing in an entirely different way, your business developing in an entirely different way, your circumstances developing in an entirely different way? What is it? Hi! You're on Alexander Volchek's channel. Here we talk about scaling, growth, business as a whole, management systems, partnership, and development. Most importantly, how you can see your own personal, individual next step right now, become aware of it, and live it. Incidentally, I've been saying “important” a lot in recent videos. When I say “important,” afterward, as I finish filming, I think about someone driving, watching the video, simply hearing it, listening through an earbud, or standing in the kitchen cooking.

It's playing somewhere in the background. They may even have realized how important it is to hire a team properly. They may have realized what they need to do in their business to scale. They may have realized what to accept in a partnership for it to make a tenfold leap. They may have realized how to find the right mentor. That's one of the topics I covered in—

that's one of the topics I covered in previous videos. But the next day, the next morning, a week later, or a month later, they may not even remember what they heard. What's more, today people want three-minute, one-minute, thirty-second videos, or ten- or twenty-minute videos on YouTube. You can't sit down and consciously set aside time for a topic to be explored specifically for you. But the point isn't the number of minutes. When you see and hear something important or special for yourself—especially if that special thing isn't manipulation, especially if it's real truth, if you feel inside that it's true, that it isn't a lie or deception—the point is to capture it. Do everything you can to preserve it for tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, so you remember it and it stays with you. If you don't retain it, there are two fundamental problems. One is that you consume content. You may even receive a certain inner charge while, for example, taking a course. Yet you don't act, and after a while your state in relation to that topic becomes even worse.

You can often fall even further, because development, movement forward, isn't always positive. Development can take the form of decline. Many people go to a training session for several days, attend an event or workshop, and become highly energized there. They say, “We got incredibly energized.” But do you clearly see the cause and effect: you attended the event and felt energized, and three weeks later you felt worse, consistently worse than before the event? Or you attend an event, and at that event—

at that event, everything's awesome. They tell fantastic case studies and show how great it is to be together in a community, to interact alongside one another. But two days later, you start feeling empty, feeling very bad. Recently, I traveled to an event on the other U.S. coast. I live on the California coast, in Silicon Valley, south of San Francisco, and flew to the other coast, to Florida, a little south of Miami. The event was in West Palm Beach. There was a woman traveling with our group. She said, “I came to this event without expectations.” Actually, she hadn't even come on the trip for that event; there was a series of meetings. “I came without expectations. Overall, I feel quite good. I just want to observe what's happening, try to hear about opportunities that may open up while I'm here, and see something interesting for myself.” Two days pass, and she says, “You know, I woke up this morning feeling completely empty, because I've spent two days among quite interesting people in a very powerful environment. I woke up today feeling: What am I even doing with my life?

I'm fifty-three. What will happen to me next? What lies ahead? What will happen next in my life?” I tell her, “Stop, wait. We've come here together to live and move forward. Or we're simply here, at this event or these meetings, in a state of observation, having a good time, connecting, trying to live. But living doesn't mean having our whole system turned inside out and feeling terribly bad. It doesn't necessarily mean euphoria and feeling very good either. It's living in a state of observation and experience.” This example—

this example shows how someone who visits a wonderful place and is incredibly strong professionally, in business, creatively, and as a woman enters a state of depression in an excellent, appropriate business environment. And she arrived without expectations. So, on the one hand, when you hear something important and want to do it but don't, you can fall very far. On the other hand, that knowledge has already entered your system, and failing to act on it takes you backward, because the world says, “Wait a second. We gave you this information. An opportunity came to you, but you aren't using it. You're losing it, putting it off again, failing to act again.” So, at least in my videos, when I use the word “important,” I try to use it not as manipulation or to create expectations, but to awaken a feeling within you and a clear, precise understanding of what you need to do here and now. So what holds a person back from their own development? First and foremost, they themselves do. Overall, we alone are responsible for our lives.

We're responsible based on the experience we've gained in this life. We're responsible based on our heredity. We're responsible based on our karma and our karmic path from a past life. We won't go deeply into that, but it definitely forms the fundamental causes of the things happening around us. When someone says, “I myself am what's holding back my development. I am that,” they're actually choosing for themselves what moves them forward and develops them.

What moves me forward and develops me. Let's define the terminology again. By “development,” I always mean two directions of movement. Let's call one upward: positive, natural development in terms of evolution and values. The other is decline, including your own decline. At different moments and in different circumstances, people can develop; at other moments and in other circumstances, they can decline. Often there's an illusion when someone associates a particular event with their state of development. For example, they say, “I'll earn a million dollars, I'll have a million dollars, I'll move to Thailand, and everything will be wonderful.” They could earn a million dollars, move to Thailand, become addicted to drugs, and die. Or be sent to prison, lose their family, enter a depression they never emerge from in their lifetime, or start hating people and everything around them. Or they could earn not a million dollars but $300,000, feel inner freedom, strength, and a sense of scale, make the next leap, and earn $50 million. I'm using money here to compare the business dimension, since there's a lot of information here for business owners, people who want to start businesses, and strong managers.

Money certainly isn't an object, measure, or indicator directly tied to your state. More precisely, it's not connected to it at all. There's no pattern there. A lot of money can bring joy, freedom, enormous opportunities, powerful creativity, new events, ideas, actions, and positive development. A lot of money can bring tremendous decline, loss of yourself, and all the consequences that follow. The first thing a person needs to realize—

the first thing a person needs to realize within themselves is that they're their own brake on development. In any meeting, negotiation, or interaction with partners, employees, colleagues, friends, family, anywhere, this lets you place responsibility for your own life first and foremost on yourself. Every adult is obliged to do this. It's a natural, precise, important law. It doesn't matter where you are now or what role or position you hold. We're not talking about manipulating something to get development. We're not talking about the elements of business development; those are different. We're talking about your own real development, your own movement forward in absolutely every area: business, professional life, money, revenue, employees, children, relationships with your wife and parents, travel, freedom, creativity, and your own inner state. You alone are responsible for your inner state. All the other factors we'll discuss supplement the first, which is the root and foundation. For example, there's your location, where you live, the country you're in at this moment.

Can that hold back your development? Of course. Definitely. But it's important to understand that this factor isn't primary, is by no means primary, and isn't the most important. The most important factor is you yourself, and you're responsible for your own development. It's an entirely different level. It's like the main leg everything stands on, the one main support. The core system. Everything else—

the core system. Everything else rests on it. A country definitely influences your development in two ways. On one side, there's your current presence in that country: a completely different energy, completely different circumstances. You'll feel different in particular countries and regions. This isn't simply development measured by a number, such as how much money you've earned. It isn't simply how your family is forming and growing, in terms of children, for example. It's your inner state. Do you have suicidal thoughts in one place and thoughts of joy, love, fulfillment, and freedom in another? In one place, do you feel a desire to cause harm, to fight at home with your family, wife, husband, or partners? Or in another place, do you feel your strength with every person and at home, for example? Do you feel fulfilled when you interact with employees? On the other side, the country where you were born is incredibly significant, and in ninety-nine percent of cases it'll be connected to you throughout your life. Even if you've left it, you'll largely be living out your people's karma in another country.

There's no escaping or getting rid of that. Events and influences may occur that seem to have nothing to do with you. Again, remember that your own development is held back primarily by you yourself. Don't forget that; keep it in mind. Remember how important it is in these circumstances and videos not to start doubting something when it seems like complete nonsense or rubbish, or obvious, or difficult—

rubbish, or obvious, or difficult for you right now, something you'll have time for later. And don't elevate it into euphoria either: “There it is! What an incredible, magnificent idea!” It's so important now to observe what you're hearing. It would be useful to write it down and observe yourself. What state arises as you listen to this video? Interest, a sense of significance or importance? Euphoria, ecstatic happiness? Or depression, hatred toward the speaker, dislike, disgust, or not understanding where you are right now? Or has your overall state become strange, and everything started seeming strange? All these details simply need to be observed right now, without assigning them a positive or negative meaning. Just observe them, watch them. Look: how is it that I'm here, simply watching a video, and these emotions arise? In the same way, someone in a particular country enters a certain state. Often they don't even understand where it comes from. They think they read a great book or attended a good workshop, or their life changed because their husband or wife started behaving differently, because customers came, or because they earned money.

Often, that state, that inner strength, may have appeared because you found yourself in the right country and the right place. The next thing affecting your development—specifically, preventing you from developing, which is the point of this video—

is what happens at home. Your wife or girlfriend, husband or boyfriend: the person beside you. It's an enormous influence. At the very least, you spend every night together. You interact on many different levels of life and, very often, in the state of being who you really are. You interact as you fall asleep and wake up, during the day, in good moods and bad, in every kind of state. This person is guaranteed to have an enormous influence on you. Remember, you bear primary responsibility for your own state and for what's preventing your development. Another person, of course, has an enormous influence on it. If you suddenly feel that this is the point holding you back, it doesn't mean you should run out and break up with them. It means you need to start observing it. About ten years ago, I told myself that the best thing I could do in my relationship with my wife was try to work on myself within that relationship. And perhaps my wife might or might not change as I develop and move forward.

I immediately set a definite condition for myself. I knew my wife would never change in many respects, and that she has the right not to change. When I'm calm, neutral, and in a good state, that's easy for me to say. When I'm angry or aggressive, which of course happens to me from time to time, I may forget it. But fundamentally, it's a deep root for me. I remember it. I remember that, first and foremost, I'm responsible for my own development coming to a stop. I know—

development. I know my wife has an enormous influence on that development, and she can lead me into decline. At the same time, I remember that within our relationship, I'm the person who can try taking certain actions whose resulting circumstances might lead my wife to change. But I also understand the possibility that she'll never change or do anything. This is an important structure that gives me a very strong point of support every day, whatever happens: whether I'm in a very good state and remember the whole structure, or a very bad state, even behaving inappropriately, and still remember it, because I don't forget it at all. I can forget it for five minutes or half an hour. I can disconnect and enter a difficult state for an hour or two. But I keep living through and transforming it. Your children have an enormous effect on your development. They say every child in a family is the greatest upaya in a person's life. That means the greatest change in terms of your destiny, your life, and your movement forward. A very big change forward.

Children. Each child can make an enormous adjustment to your life and your movement forward. Children make that adjustment from the very beginning. At the same time, you're responsible for your children, because a five-year-old has a somewhat different responsibility regarding development. You're responsible for your own development and also for your child's. That's important to remember, too. But it's important to tell yourself clearly: I'm not the one who determines how my child's life will unfold. I'm the one who can do my utmost to keep the child's life grounded in right, true values—

true values. But that life doesn't belong to me. This is another person. They chose to come into my life, and their life is theirs; it belongs only to them. I can help them from the beginning or try a little later, if it matters to them too. But children do affect whether you develop or not. The next influence on your development is your acquaintances and the people you interact with daily, weekly, or monthly. Each person influences you. A group can influence you so that you keep falling into a pit that's very hard to get out of. People around you have a strong influence. There's a good description: if you live with people who do pull-ups every day, you'll start doing pull-ups too. If you live with people who drink beer every day, at some point you'll start drinking beer every day. If you live with people who hike every day, you'll start hiking. If you live with people who try to learn a musical instrument every day, you'll start playing an instrument. So, of course, the acquaintances and loved ones around you have an enormous influence on your development, and you need to look at that carefully.

Again, if you immediately notice a whole group of people who, in your own opinion, are leading you into decline, you need to remember that you bear primary responsibility at the root of this development. Look at how to balance or properly develop that relationship, or adjust these relationships so the direction changes and the person or environment no longer leads you into decline. There are environments you'll need to give up and people you'll need to part with. In general, you'll eventually part with every person around you. At the very least, either they'll die or you will. In any case, you'll part with everyone. Be completely calm about the fact that all relationships are limited, at least within a person's lifetime, this life.

Within a person's lifetime, this life, they're limited. They'll end in any case because death exists. They'll end regardless. And relationships aren't defined by duration, whether they've lasted two years or fifteen. Recently, I went to an event, a business gathering, and spent almost the entire three and a half hours with two women I'd just met that day. There were lots of other people who wanted to meet me or whom I knew, but I spent those three and a half hours specifically with these women. We talked about how people discuss small talk at these events. Notice: someone spends three minutes meeting another person. We stood there discussing how we'd spent these three and a half hours, more than two hundred minutes—maybe two hundred minutes—together. If a small-talk conversation with someone lasted five minutes, it was as though I'd spent forty meetings on this. I could probably have met forty people, but with these particular people I expanded the boundaries of my perception. I connected with them much more deeply.

Compare that with someone else I occasionally see, even someone I already know. A neighbor, for example, whom I've seen twenty or fifty times over a year for two minutes at a time has drawn me much less into a relationship and connection than someone I spent three and a half hours with once, when we tried to hear one another, felt a kindred spirit, found it interesting and enjoyable, and put everything else on hold to be together for those three and a half hours. So the length of a life or a relationship isn't the important factor in measuring our movement forward and our own development. At the same time, we understand that our development—

can be influenced by people and circumstances we encounter by chance. Not those close to us, but people we might meet once for five minutes, an hour, or two hours, in a store or on the street. These events often sit in our lives like points we discover as treasures. But those treasures can simply destroy us, or they can develop us. A random person, a passerby, or a circumstance can radically change and influence our development, triggering a different state or idea within us. That's what understanding cause and effect means. Our workplace, of course, influences development in the direction of decline, and that probably divides into three, four, or five subfactors. First, your boss. Second, the colleagues you're connected with. Third, the company's own energy. Fourth, the customers you interact with. You might wonder how customers affect you. They can affect you enormously if you influence the product going to them, whether you sell it or develop it.

Your boss has an enormous influence on your life, but remember that your development depends solely and exclusively on you. Regarding the boss, I've always explained the following to colleagues, employees, and managers: here's a circle. I say, “As an employee in my life, you're this little dot. This circle is my life. But for you, I and your work are half that circle, or a third.” I'm not saying that to show my importance or lack of importance. It's simply a fact. Just as a particular business might occupy a large part of my circle, I, for—

just as I will be merely a little dot for many people. Remembering and understanding that lets you find the right point of harmony, the right state, in the work you do—even if you don't like it—with the manager you work for, your colleagues, and the product you make. It lets you consciously decide whether your paths lead in the same direction. Many other factors affect your development, such as food or the things you do every day. Do you watch television every evening, read a book, play with friends, or sit alone at home meditating and staring at a wall? Do you go to the gym or hike? All these things can have an enormous influence, including leading you into decline. The repeated action of going to the gym every day develops one person, while the same repeated action leads another into decline. The same gym in the same place affects each person differently. In my life, I've spent a lot of time doing martial arts, such as boxing.

I can't say I became particularly accomplished, but I did it. Every time, I knew—and it was pointed out very clearly in relation to my development—that when I attended those classes, I became more aggressive. Meanwhile, my partner Petya Osipov from Business Molodost became calmer when he boxed. I became more aggressive, while he calmed down, because we're different people with different systems. We went to the same trainer, trained together at the same time, and got tired together. It was hard for both of us, but different feelings and qualities emerged in us.

What's more, if you continue it for a very long time, it can transform further and lead to completely different circumstances. Even if it initially seems good, doing it over ten years could lead to significant decline or completely drain you, triggering weakness, uncertainty, and confusion. Or conversely, it could bring you into love, joy, happiness, and an understanding of every person. At every moment, you're responsible for your life. If you managed to watch this video to the end, it shows you're someone capable of hearing your own next step. What should I do right now, in terms of my development and current life, to change the angle of movement so it goes increasingly in the right direction? So development, growth, and scale within me flourish with joy, happiness, fulfillment, realization, achievements, and scale. Be sure to like the video, subscribe, and watch videos about scaling, the next step, and your growth as a person, businessperson, entrepreneur, owner, manager, father, guide, and mentor. All these roles live within each person. Until next time!