How Alcohol Steals Your Ambitions

AVAnna Volchek

There's another phenomenon: people who stop drinking, or who have never drunk alcohol, very often face a kind of contempt or incomprehension in our society. It was easier when they drank, or people tease them a little, or they seem to have to justify themselves endlessly. I often see that people even feel awkward, as though they're embarrassed to say they don't drink.

AVAlexander Volchek

Are you talking about yourself?

AVAnna Volchek

No, not about myself. These are just things I observe in general, and I hear this from different people who don't drink alcohol. Why does it happen? It probably seems like a very rhetorical question, perhaps, but if there's something—

AVAlexander Volchek

Well, of course, this mostly comes down to the person themselves. Speaking of that person, they have to make their own choice. Do people in society laugh at someone who drinks? They do. At someone who doesn't drink? They do. It all depends on the kind of social circle. Someone says, “I won't be able to sign contracts if I don't drink, because I have to be in an environment where I'm drinking.”

AVAnna Volchek

Yes, for example, very—

AVAlexander Volchek

But that's your choice. Then that's your choice. Look at what you're trading away. Are you trading your freedom, your emotions, your state in life, your balance, your space, your sense of growth at home, your experience of working with children for money, or aren't you? That's all. You simply have to be aware, at least, of what's happening. It's your own choice. You chose it; you arrived at these states, these feelings, these spaces. There are people who have never drunk alcohol in their lives. Never. I know people like that. I know both young and older people like that. Interestingly, I recently spoke with an older woman I know, and she said, “I knew right from the start, all my life, that drinking alcohol was bad. That had always been my absolute conviction; I sincerely felt it.” And she had never done it in her life. At one point I stood there wondering: if I hadn't drunk when I was young, would my life have changed? It would have changed a great deal, because there were times in my life when I became close to certain people only because we drank. We'd meet on Fridays, drink on Saturdays, go to dance clubs and various parties.

Everyone there was drinking. It would have been impossible to be there. You go to a sauna, say, and there are twelve guys, all drinking all kinds of things. How would you even be there? What's the point of being there? Or birthday parties where everyone just drinks. Everyone sits down at the table—well, everyone knows what a feast at home is like. Everyone sits down, and they've made piles of food, various salads, Olivier salad, something else, crab sticks. And they drink and drink. That's how we used to get together when we were kids: your group, mine, and everyone drinking. I probably wouldn't have been able to stay in that kind of atmosphere. There's a fundamental point here. In exactly the same way, there are atmospheres now that I can't be in, which have nothing to do with alcohol.

AVAnna Volchek

I wanted to ask a somewhat related question that just came to mind. Do people who drink affect someone who doesn't drink if they're—

AVAlexander Volchek

Of course they do.

AVAnna Volchek

In the same space—specifically, negatively?

AVAlexander Volchek

Of course they affect them. Negatively, too.

AVAnna Volchek

How does that influence show itself? In what way?

AVAlexander Volchek

It affects you because you're interacting with that person. Anyone who's nearby in your space has an influence. Sometimes you have the strength not to get drawn into that influence, and you can remain independent. Sometimes you don't have that strength. It all depends on the number of people. Can you put up with one person? You'd say yes. Can you put up with two? Yes. But what if I said, “Could you put up with forty people drinking around you in the same room?” You'd say, “I definitely couldn't put up with forty.” It isn't a question of the number of people, right? The point is that, of course, it has an effect. For example, someone wants to talk to you at that moment. They're drinking and start talking to you, but you feel that their perception is narrowed. You have nothing to talk about with them, and you aren't going to talk to them. Of course that has an effect. You stop doing it. Everything changes. Does that mean the people around you necessarily change? No. For example, one particular group of people who drank and used to come over to our house on weekends largely stayed the same after I stopped drinking. Those people stopped drinking. That's a different matter: they stopped drinking when they came to my home.

They know people don't drink in my house. I had a refrigerator in my apartment, a sort of wine fridge. At first it held some alcohol I had left over, which my friends drank. Then they started keeping their own alcohol there, and eventually it all disappeared. I kept tomatoes in that fridge, because it maintained room temperature. And other things—I don't know, olive oil, various oils, balsamic vinegar. I remember that fridge very clearly. Do you remember the one I had?

AVAnna Volchek

Yes.

AVAlexander Volchek

And none of that alcohol was there anymore. Why? Because at some point my friends began to feel comfortable spending time together without drinking. They didn't need anything. Someone might occasionally come over with beer; sometimes they'd come and drink something. But if it went a little further, I'd say, “That's it, everyone out. Everyone out of my house. You aren't staying here.” Those are my rules, right? I don't need drunk people around me in that state. Do they have an effect? Of course they do. They affect the atmosphere and my perception. They affect the other people there. They affect my children, and they affect the energy inside. Even if we don't perceive that energy, they affect it. That's a fact. I want to say one more very important thing about alcohol. People don't know the most important thing about its influence, and they don't pay attention to it. You aren't even asking about it.

AVAnna Volchek

What?

AVAlexander Volchek

They don't know the most important thing. They don't understand the influence of alcohol over the long term, rather than the short term. Everyone knows the short-term effects, or probably knows something like, “My health will deteriorate if I drink constantly, but not if I drink occasionally.” But they don't understand what happens over a long span of time. How drinking alcohol, for example, changes the consequences that will unfold ten, twenty, or thirty years later. This is very important. I was just discussing this: when I started thinking about whether my life would have changed, I thought, “Yes, it probably would have.” I wouldn't have spent time with certain people. And if I hadn't spent time with certain people, my life would have changed completely in terms of particular decisions, partnerships, work, career, experiences, discussions, habits, tastes, food, clothes. A great many things around me would have changed. That's an enormous number of changes and different states—so many. Did I make some deals while meeting people over drinks? Of course I did, for example. Or have certain meetings. Did I do various crazy things while drinking? I did all kinds of crazy things, very particular ones. One hundred percent. It's a long-term influence, a long-term consequence, not a local one: a long-term consequence that changes your whole life, your entire life, including missing truly important events in it.

It isn't about feeling bad at that particular moment. Someone says, “Well, I felt awful for a day. To hell with it.” It isn't about that one day. There's a second, very important aspect that, for the most part, is hardly understood at all. If you believe in energies and various energy states—just believe in them even a little... If you don't, you can skip this part. Cut it out for yourself: mute YouTube, wait, and then come back, right? Or say, “Blah, blah.” When someone drinks a little alcohol, they change the structure of their astral body for the next four, five, six, seven years, and they can't cleanse themselves of it. Next you'll ask me, “So what? What effect does that have?” It has an effect.

AVAnna Volchek

Then it turns out—

AVAlexander Volchek

Let's just leave it at “it has an effect.” It has changed you; it has automatically, instantly changed your space. The most important thing a person needs to understand about drinking alcohol is that they don't understand the consequences at all. They don't understand the consequences at all.

AVAnna Volchek

Yes, look—

AVAlexander Volchek

If they understood the consequences while drinking, they would at least minimize them. At least they'd understand where they are. They'd be dealing with the reality of it. You know—

AVAnna Volchek

No, wait. Essentially, you can't minimize them.

AVAlexander Volchek

You can.

AVAnna Volchek

How?

AVAlexander Volchek

When you're acting with awareness, imagine that I consciously entered a state where I started putting pressure on you, for example. I'd be aware that I was putting pressure on you, but I'd be doing it out of manipulation or something else. At least I'd understand how the whole situation worked. At least I'd understand the causes and consequences, and understand that doing this to you would be harmful. When I don't understand it, I'm not aware that it will be harmful.

AVAnna Volchek

Listen, then it turns out there's no minimum permissible, safe, harmless amount, or any sort of threshold.

AVAlexander Volchek

There isn't one.

AVAnna Volchek

So either I drink alcohol or I don't.

AVAlexander Volchek

Well, sure: “I drink, so everything is allowed. Since I've decided to drink, I'll have a bottle of vodka every day instead of a bottle of wine,” right? Or, “I listened to Alexander, so I'll have a bottle of wine instead of a bottle of vodka.” Every day—if you drink a glass of wine every other day, that's one hundred percent dependence. Not only physical, but psychophysical, spiritual, energetic—every form of dependence, absolutely every one. A glass of wine every other day involves every form of dependence you could possibly imagine. Look, when a person wants to see this whole structure, all these circumstances, the important thing isn't to stop drinking. It's to start becoming aware of it. That's how it happened in my life, and I'm incredibly grateful for it. I simply became aware that I shouldn't drink alcohol. I understood it all. As soon as I understood it all, I stopped immediately.

AVAnna Volchek

And you—

AVAlexander Volchek

I didn't stop drinking because I watched some video or read some book, or because I listened to someone. I became aware of it inside, with my whole being. It was as though I understood everything I'm telling you now, and so on. And I didn't understand it through a description; nobody described it to me. There wasn't anyone who explained it to me, but overall, it all clicked. I understood it all.

It all clicked. I understood it all with my whole being. I said, “That's it. No. Absolutely no more.” In the same way, I'm aware that you have two eyes. In the same way that I'm fully aware you mustn't kill people. As soon as I became aware of this, that was it. If a person has any doubts or desires—to drink or not to drink, to do it or not to do it—they simply aren't aware of it. So where should you direct your attention? Not toward stopping drinking, but toward becoming aware of what I've been saying in this video. And if you truly want, truly want to change, you need to watch the entire series and watch it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, to start perceiving what this is actually about. Am I perceiving everything or not? Wherever I have doubts, inconsistencies, arguments—“Well, I agree with this, but not that. This kind is okay, that kind isn't”—it's all a complete illusion. And what else do they do? They show some famous person and say, “Look, this person is famous and has loads of money.”

“Look how great they are. They have a family and eighteen—eight hundred sixty-seven wine cabinets, eight hundred sixty-seven wine cabinets. What a great thing. Look how great it is.” You're comparing the outward picture. Do you actually know how that person really feels? Do you have analyses from different people? Have you studied their state—what they experience? I don't mean medical tests. And, most importantly, do you know what that person doesn't experience, what they don't feel, what they don't see, what they don't sense?

AVAnna Volchek

Incidentally, that was the question I was asking in connection with this: what do you lose if you stop—

AVAlexander Volchek

Exactly—what you don't experience at all.

AVAnna Volchek

If you drink alcohol.

AVAlexander Volchek

Your perception is limited. You'll never arrive at a broad perception; you'll never be able to look at the sky and feel boundless joy. You'll never see infinite love in your child—simply infinite love, infinite, endless. It just radiates endlessly. Then you start substituting one idea for another. You say, “I need to get a drink in me to relieve stress.” It's a complete illusion. People say, “How else am I supposed to relax?” Look, anyone who says, “How else can I relax?”—that person needs to be in a hospital. Honestly, if someone says, “I don't know how else to relax,” you simply have to recognize this for yourself. You need a hospital. You need an ambulance—not just an ambulance, a hospital. It's a psychiatric ward of another kind, just of another kind. You recognize the loss. It's such a narrowed perception of life, an incredibly narrowed perception of life. And all those outward descriptions, like, “Look, he does it,” or “That person says it's allowed”—once again, what are you comparing it with? Are you trading your state of perception of life for money? Well, go ahead. What does one have to do with the other? There are people with a great deal of money who don't drink.

There are people with enormous achievements who don't drink. Why do you use that particular person as an example? Money has nothing to do with this. Money has nothing to do with alcohol. Nothing at all. I just said that I drank and signed contracts, but money has nothing to do with it. I also signed contracts without drinking. It has nothing to do with alcohol. But I know for certain that if you drink constantly, you're less likely to have children. If you drink, you'll have more conflicts and arguments at home. If you drink, you'll feel more lost. If you drink, mornings will be much harder for you. If you drink in the morning, you'll think less clearly during the day; you'll have less brain activity if you drink. If you drink, people in society will have a much worse impression of you. If you drink, your body will stink. If you drink, you'll get sick. If you drink, you'll have pimples, itching, and various splits in your consciousness. If you drink, you can bring yourself to all kinds of states. These things I know for certain. If you drink, you'll spend money.

By the way, everyone who doesn't drink knows how much cheaper it is to go to a restaurant without drinking. I recently went to a restaurant in a group of four. We went to an Italian restaurant with some American neighbors. We arrived, and they brought the check. I said, “I'll pay.” I opened it: seven hundred dollars for four people. There was a four-hundred-dollar bottle of wine they'd been drinking. Essentially, I paid for their bottle of wine: three hundred dollars for food and four hundred for a bottle of wine. Well, sure, that's cheap. What a saving. By the way, you asked a great question: what happens if you don't drink alcohol? You'll have more money. Alcohol has other problems, too. All right, that's enough on that. There's the problem that at some point you might not be able to cope: dependence. You have to understand that alcohol is dependence, guaranteed dependence. And if it isn't dependence, try an experiment. There's a very simple one I once took up. There's a concept that a person has seven dependencies, and one of them is very strong: food. Dependence on food is dependence—eating in general. Someone will say it's not a dependency but a need. But consider the word “dependence.” It's very simple with food.

There's a Napoleon cake in front of you. Of course, you have to like cakes and like Napoleon cake. You want to eat it right now. If you're so knowledgeable and free of dependence, do this: “I don't want Napoleon cake.” And feel that you don't want it. Like this: “Oh, I don't want Napoleon cake. I want Napoleon cake.” Can you do that? If you can't do it with Napoleon cake, then you're dependent on sweets.

AVAnna Volchek

Well, if you like it.

AVAlexander Volchek

If you like it, of course. Or choose another cake. Choose a different cake. I don't know, choose meat, anything at all. If you really want to understand your relationship with alcohol, if this is a big issue for you, calmly say to yourself, “Listen, I want to look at this question. I'm looking into it, working on it, studying it.” Then simply say, easily and without any difficulty, “Look, no problem at all. I just won't drink.” You come over and don't drink. But when you aren't drinking, look—this is very important—notice what you feel. Do you feel you've lost your friends? Or do you feel stress? Notice whether you're sitting with a relaxed group of people and feeling apathetic, irritated, or that something is wrong, rather than simply saying, “Okay, I'm not drinking today,” and everything is absolutely fine. You didn't drink. Then you didn't drink the next day, or a week later. You come over again, and they ask, “Want a drink?” “I won't drink.” You can see that it isn't dependence. At home in the evening, you're thinking, “I want wine. I really want it, I can't stand it.” Then, “Oh, no, I'm testing myself. I don't want wine. That's it. I don't want wine.” And everything within you is clear.

All right, then it isn't dependence. But a person always discovers the truth. It's very important not to deceive yourself or drown it out with some constructions on top, but to know the structure from within. You know how some people put up a poster of Che Guevara or wear a Che Guevara T-shirt and say, “He's a great liberator. It was all so wonderful.” In reality, that man killed children and had people shot on his own whim. He specifically killed children. These are known facts. In the place where he worked—let's call it an office—they cut a special window so he could see the prison, where people were held, and watch them being executed. He enjoyed it. People stop truly seeing the facts and live in an illusion, in an embellished picture. They adopt that embellished picture. What do they do? They say, “Wine is a great art.” There really is a great deal that's beautiful about it. From the outside, there is a great deal of beauty. But what is it based on? What's its foundation, its basis? Its basis is alcohol. Its basis is dependence. The fact that a damn cool world has been built around it does not, in any way, mean that a person should close their eyes to the truth.

If someone kills people and then goes and creates a charitable foundation—kills people on the weekend, then goes to church, makes a donation, starts a charitable foundation, and holds a huge event everywhere—we all know perfectly well what kind of person they are. You mustn't close your eyes to that. Likewise, you mustn't close your eyes to alcohol.