How to forgive a person and let go of resentment: why it doesn't work

Main subjects

ForgivenessAVAlexander VolchekResentmentKarma, free will, and causalityChildren, parenting, and family lifeF/Friend / friends

Main threads of the conversation

• 00:00In today's episode
• 00:25What lies behind the act of forgiveness?
• 01:40How training programs teach people to apologize for personal gain
• 04:09Asking forgiveness out of ego: what it looks like
• 08:39Understanding your real purpose: why are you asking forgiveness?
• 11:08What an insincere apology looks like
• 15:34The problem of forgiveness in modern society
• 20:44Can one bad action be “balanced out” by another good one?
• 27:58Question 1: what happens when someone apologizes for the other person's sake?
• 37:35A spiritual approach to forgiveness and relating to people
• 43:20Question 2: what if it is already too late for forgiveness?

Claims made here

Individual claims identified in the material: who said them, when, and what kind of thought they express. Each timestamp opens that point in the video.

• 07:06

  People clearly do not grasp it. On the other hand, are they asking forgiveness because a training program told them to do it to get money, or because they were told this is the true meaning of life and there is no other way to live?

  Alexander Mashrabov / Alexander Volchekcomparison

• 17:17

  Some rulings say, “This person has not truly repented. They are probably manipulating the court, so we will not reduce the sentence.”

  Alexander Volchekcause

• 19:14

  You asked whether it is necessary to do this at all. If someone takes this action, they must understand what they are measuring, what quantity of energy they are measuring.

  Alexander Volchekrecommendation

• 28:41

  The only way to do it consciously and genuinely is for the sake of truth and a healthy relationship with people, not for a particular individual.

  Alexander Volchekcause

• 31:00

  Connecting this with forgiveness, what does the child feel with you at that moment? With you personally? How do they experience being with you, and what state do they live through? What matters more: that they apologize, or that they say nothing…

  Alexander Volchek

• 32:26

  Olya, that is why I gave you the example of sometimes telling yourself honestly, “I want to do this to manipulate the situation.” We live in society, and in this company there is no other way to deal with the boss.

  Alexander Volchekcause

• 37:47

  I always say you can work through things and work on yourself because it is the truth, not because you will feel better.

  Alexander Volchekcauserecommendation

• 39:34

  Society is divided. One side says you must spend time together because this is your mother or father.

  Alexander Volchekcause

• 48:03

  Not to mention improving this life so they do not suffer before death, so someone has a better life, or so they feel better.

  Alexander Volchekcomparison

• 48:18

  They invent ways for everything to be better.

  Alexander Volchek