How to Stop Irritation Before It Destroys a Relationship

Main subjects

AVAlexander VolchekIrritationCouples and healthy relationshipsIrritation in relationshipsChildren, parenting, and family lifeCHChildren

Main threads of the conversation

• 00:00Why some people evoke joy and others anger or irritation
• 06:35Why people react differently to the same thing
• 09:03The range of human perception
• 11:54What influences our state
• 24:29A practical step for working with irritation: what helps transform it
• 28:04A person's main task

Claims made here

Individual claims identified in the material: who said them, when, and what kind of thought they express. Each timestamp opens that point in the video.

• 03:40

  To explore your question, I think we should consider that range of negative emotions and first ask what causes these different states.

  Alexander Volchek

• 05:06

  At the same time, I have a YouTube channel where you and I make videos about artificial intelligence: how it works, what will happen, programming models, and the details.

  Alexander Volchek

• 15:39

  Notice something important: I was describing the view here, praising it or whatever…

  Alexander Volchekrecommendation

• 15:54

  It was an unobtrusive example, but I deliberately slipped it in to draw attention to the possibility that someone irritates you because you have entered a particular state. You can also like someone because of the state you have entered.

  Alexander Volchekcause

• 19:26

  You always need to remember something emphasized repeatedly in the book Two Lives: this is an ordinary day for you.

  Alexander Volchekprinciple

• 22:58

  Perhaps I will work that out here at some point, or move toward my idea. You could call it a dream, although I do not have dreams; still, the word exists.

  Alexander Volchek

• 23:19

  There, perhaps I could put more of this into practice than here and have more opportunities, probably with other people's help, because it is difficult to do.

  Alexander Volchekcause

• 26:41

  The most important thing there is—extraordinarily important—is to see another person as they truly are.

  Alexander Volchekrecommendation

• 29:11

  I am very glad that, despite speaking sharply because I was driving and so on, I wanted to get this thought across to my family, in this case my children: we all have to remember other people. That includes me. That includes me…

  Alexander Volchekcause

• 31:12

  When I am training it, I am fine with it. When someone else does it, I become irritated because they are intruding into my space.

  Alexander Volchekcause