Psychophysical Tension: How to Release It

In this conversation with Alexander Mineev, I talk about the importance of tears and their connection to the human ego: why it matters to understand the cause of tears, how crying it out helps release psychophysical tension, and why you shouldn’t be afraid of your emotions.

We also talk about the path of life and the meaning of karma: the present moment is only the beginning of a long journey. And about how important it is to find a point of support, not to live with a “siren” in your head, and to learn to love continuity.

Tears almost always come from the ego

You’re trying to recast tears in a positive light. You’re saying: now you cry because of insights, whereas before you cried because of suffering. But the thing is, tears by definition, in any case, come from a person’s ego 99.9999 percent of the time. What difference does it make whether these tears come from the ego because something good has been found, or from the ego because of suffering?

As a person, it’s important for you first of all to understand the source of the tears itself. The likelihood that a person cries out of love, out of happiness at a moment they’ve witnessed, is negligible. And I recommend that no one deceive themselves about this. Don’t even allow the thought.

But you need to cry everything out. And it’s a great super-trigger — to look at when it happens, at what moment it happens, and not to be afraid to do it. It’s a very good indicator that at this moment the state is present, that there is a cause for it to arise — the cause of this enormous source in the ego. That’s all.

Crying it out releases psychophysical tension

In any case, if it happens during a genuine encounter, like ours right now, it leads to a very powerful transformation of the system. So you need to live through it; you don’t need to be afraid of it.

I always tell people: if you are in a state of good, deep awareness, don’t be afraid to cry it out, don’t hold yourself back when it comes to tears.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a man with a man, a woman with a woman, or a woman with a man. Don’t be afraid to do it, to cry it out.

Some moments of crying it out are useless, because they come from an absolute construct of a rigid ego motive. There is no searching in them. And the fact that you have begun to live through other moments of tears is a matter of your state, of the huge amount of movement, of the transformation that is taking place. You’ve been in a completely new place, a new space, for several years. New births and new discoveries will happen for you. I keep saying: there’s no need to rush. How old are you?

– Thirty-two.

This is only the beginning

– Thirty-two. At twenty-eight you began intensely living through the karma your life had formed. You were moving toward it all your life — toward beginning to live through it. So live through it. This is only the beginning.

We think the beginning was back then, and now it’s already the end. That’s it, it’s as if everything is over. We take today — and wrap everything up. But nothing at all is finished today! You’re thirty-two. Twelve years ago, who knows what you were doing. You have another thirty years ahead of you, at least three of your professional lives. Family life: you’ve been married for a few years, or a year, or however long — and ahead of you there is thirty, forty, fifty times more of that life. Essentially, you haven’t had it yet. Everything has only just begun. And at the same time, an enormous amount is simply continuing.

If you look at human life in a broad perspective, without limiting it to this life and to thirty-two years, it is nothing at all. All these reflections make it possible to find a very solid point of support and to broaden your own perception, so as to expand and grow tremendously. All of this gives you only a strong point of support.

The siren in your head

But you have a siren blaring in your head all the time, you understand? You live in an endless siren. And how does that siren affect you? Does it really affect your own state, or not at all? A fire truck drove by. Maybe a tree fell somewhere, maybe a rabbit got crushed and stuck in a stream. Maybe someone got into an accident, maybe someone had something serious happen with their health. Anything could be the case. A vehicle simply drove by, a siren. That is what our life is. It’s important to remember the deep things.

That’s why this video needs to be rewatched all the time, once a week. Each time completely new insights, new definitions can come. At least for you. Many viewers may need to rewatch it too, but that takes a great deal of strength and a desire to develop, to move forward. We live in a very complicated world, with social aspects of madness and belittling.

Learn to love continuity

People endlessly want to tear each other apart, because they endlessly want to measure their personalities against each other, to say who’s cooler, who’s worse, to compare themselves on some points, to endlessly compare themselves with one another in something. They understand that it’s impossible to do. What comparison? What do you even want to compare? A person’s world is boundless.

But in this life, having been born into a physical body, you can certainly gain continuity, and it is important for you to gain it.

You need a steady flow. There should be many of them, many different steady flows. The longer you do something — that’s the whole point. Continuity.

Do you have many regular clients like me? How many right now? No, Sasha, how many in total? Just like me — someone you’ve been meeting every three weeks since November and filming regularly. And I’m a very complicated character. Sasha, look: it’s not you who creates continuity for me, it’s me who creates continuity for you. Look, this is very important. It’s a blessing, and it’s great; there’s no problem in it. But just look closely at it: where am I, and where is continuity in your life? I clearly don’t fit into your continuity, yet I am in continuity with you.

Look, I don’t fit into continuity, I’m an absurdity. Take a closer look at my life. You’ve heard a little of my experience in business, you hear the scope of what I talk about. Where am I, and where is continuity? And you ask me: “Does Syoma deliver on time?” Someone will say: “Alexander, do you even keep track of when videos are delivered to you?”

But you need a lot of this, you understand? You need a simple human life. You need to learn to love the steady moments of what is happening, without turning them into exaltation. But you do turn them into exaltation. You saw a cool ocean today — and you need to get a rush from it right now.

No, you simply need to begin. You live near the ocean. Go every day if you like and look at it. Drive forty minutes — and look at the ocean every day. It’s right there near you anyway. You don’t need to get exalted about it; you need calm, you need continuity. Went, sat. Went, sat. Just sat. Don’t slip into a state of exaltation in these moments.

Freedom isn’t in exaltation

Because in a state of exaltation you go into a rhythm of things that are a little out of control. On that side of things out of control there are, for example, drugs. There is that zone of uncontrollability — the zone of drugs. A person feels freedom in it.

But freedom isn’t in that. Freedom is being able to keep going to the ocean three times a week.

You just get in the car and drive to the spot. Arrive, sit in a chair and leave. Sit in a chair with a sandwich and leave. And not arriving at the ocean and going: “I’m free!” — blasting music, dancing a bit and getting a rush of exaltation. Don’t get exalted.

You need to learn to love continuity, a simple moment. When you start doing that, you’ll perceive a different range, you’ll start to notice other ranges.

Again, look: you never asked me about your prices, and you still don’t. You never asked me about contacts for yourself, and you still don’t. Look, there are entrepreneurs — probably thousands of entrepreneurs would gather just to hear me and say something. I’m not saying that everyone likes me, everyone needs me and all that. What’s more, my audience is specific, complex, adult, maturing. So it seems. So join in! No such luck.

Because it isn’t you who created this continuity. You could do much more with me. But it isn’t you doing it, you see what I mean? I’m the one doing it. I do what I consider necessary. And overall you could do much more with me. I don’t have any particular limits. It’s a question of the ability to do it.

Say you’ve been coming regularly for six months and entering my space, my home, finding a particular place here. And it is a particular place here, Sasha. Just like the previous house. The point isn’t the house or the perception of this space — that it’s beautiful outside. The point is this particular family. You enter a certain family space, sit down, then Polina comes in, some lunches, something else, some little things — just these drop-outs from life, you know, these flashes.

Noticing opportunities

You need to learn to notice other possible things that are happening nearby. Slightly different ones. Give this a little room. You have it; it’s always there. It’s just that at this moment you don’t notice certain things, you don’t register them. You have them, but you don’t register them — as if you don’t see them.

You’re always afraid and think that all other people are harming you. They aren’t harming you. They’re harming themselves, Sasha, not you. Do you see what I mean? All these quarrels, conflicts, strange questions to you, restrictions. Made it, didn’t make it, deadlines. You’re all just creating problems for each other, but they have no desire to harm you. There are people who want to harm others, but on the whole you hardly run into them much.

And it’s interesting that you even have a brand called Lucky Brand. That’s very interesting, you see? Because that’s your kind of fate. You are simply on a certain track, and fate keeps tossing you out.

– Tossing me out? You mean it tosses me…

– In a good sense. Into a good space. It keeps pulling you out. Look, again: there is nothing bad in this. Nothing at all. It’s an opportunity. What I’m saying now is simply an opportunity to look at it as an opportunity. Just to take a little look.

Last night — I’d planted some flowers here — some animal came and ate a whole bunch of roses off one of my rosebushes. Down there. So what? Should I stop gardening because they ate them, and set myself the idea that someone will keep coming and ruining everything? Okay, what difference does it make? I’ll plant forty more.

Just look a little more broadly. What if you notice opportunities in one zone, but there is another zone? Why does a person want to build this whole illusion along the lines of: “I chose this, I did this. I chose it myself, I’m fighting on my own, I did it myself”? That’s just the ego blowing your mind.

– Can I ask a question, then? Look, if it wasn’t me who chose — say, I want to see opportunities — then where can I make changes?

– Again, that’s the ego. Again, “I want to change something.” You don’t need to change anything.

– Let’s say I saw the opportunities.

– You don’t need to change anything. Look: if an opportunity comes into your life, you don’t need to change your life because of it.

– If life gave the opportunity?

– Of course. Look: if there is an opportunity in life, then it is life that gave the opportunity. An opportunity is simply happening. Everything is happening. I don’t need to change my life for that. This desire to have a choice, the desire to establish that it was I who chose, I who looked — these are all very particular motives.

I’m not taking away the motive of desire at all — the inner desire, the search for freedom, truth, love, happiness. And I believe that every person has this now. Now, at the present time. Over the last few hundred years it has certainly been there: an inner pull born of freedom. Of course, it is reflected differently in each person.

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